I want to want to

what I want
is for everyone I know to be happy
to smile when I talk to them
because they were already smiling
I want them to call me because they saw something beautiful
or they had an enlightening idea
and I want to be able to look around and see something normal
simple, normal, and less than extraordinary
I want to wake up when my alarms goes off
with plans
and people to love
I want to sleep when I’m tired
and to cry when it’s overwhelming
and to understand myself when I choose to be aware
I want to buy things I need
when I need them
I want to run  
and to breathe when I inhale
I want to go where I want
and I don’t want to explain anything